What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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