This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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