A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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