Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
