remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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