I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
