the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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