She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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