You're so nebulous sometimes
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
