So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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