my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
