He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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