is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
