Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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