You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
