dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
