is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
