I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
