Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
