Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
