he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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