my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
