Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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