better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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