hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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