do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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