I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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