..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
