remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
