i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
