I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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