READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
