does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
