in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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