Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
