All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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