So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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