She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
