I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
