He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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