Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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