saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My dick has a subreddit
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
