Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
