i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
