Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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