Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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