this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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