that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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