I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
