He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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