I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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