no. you can't hotbox the world.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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