I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
