Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
