Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
